I Have a Problem
An article from August 2025. Since I'm moving house in the next month, this seems like an appropriate time to revisit it. Fellow ingredient collectors, gather here!
Reading time: 4 minutes 8 seconds
I have a problem. Although, I hadn’t thought of it as a problem until very recently.
If you take a look at my kitchen cupboards, you may notice they are full of stuff. And when I use the word stuff I mean it exactly like that. Yes, there are the usual suspects- salt, oil, eggs, pasta, flour, etcetera. But alongside them live loose sachets of chilli oil, roughly 15 unopened spices, several unidentifiable meat snacks, and a cast of things that have caught my eye in the shops. The cupboard has, at times, been home to at least 5 different salts, 4 kinds of oil (currently), 3 kinds of honey, and god knows what else.
This might be harmless in one’s own home. But over the last 5 years I’ve been a housemate in 5 shared homes, which means shared cupboards, shelves, and countertops.
If I’m being transparent, I’m thinking right this second about what fun things I could buy on my way home. And because its food, I frame it less as a spending problem and more like innocent excitement over a passion. I’m aware that’s an incredibly clouded perspective.
You might consider this hoarding, but I prefer to call it collecting things I may find useful at some point. Even though there’s a lot in there that’s yet to see the light of day. If you think I’m about to purge my cupboard of all seemingly “unnecessary” goods*, you’re wrong- I don’t consider a single one of them unnecessary. This is less a confession and more a note of reassurance to myself: one day, each of these things will have their moment.
I find it especially hard to resist something remotely interesting or ambiguous on the shelf of my local Asian store, which is largely I ended up with a colourful collection of stuff. And then there’s the ‘card minimum problem’. A Mama Sita’s Adobo seasoning packet is perfect for nudging my total from £4.15 to a neat £5. That part is not my fault. What is my fault is not making the time to give these ingredients the attention they deserve, so I’m vowing right this second to do so.
*I am, in fact about to purge my cupboard in preparation for the move- but I can assure you it won’t be a dramatic one.
That was a lot of talking so let’s cut to the chase. Below are the contents of my cupboard, organised into categories I’ve helpfully titled:
Spices & Seasonings
Rice, Grains, & Other Similar Things
Baking (Including Flours I Don’t Use for Baking)
Condiments
Snacks
Miscellaneous & Things That Refused Categorisation
Here’s what was sitting at the top of the priorities back in August:
Mama Sita’s Adobo/Lumpiang Shanghai/Sinigang Mixes*
After being distinctly underwhelmed by my first adobo experience in early 2024, I’ve been meaning to give it a second shot. And when I saw Mama Sita’s Adobo, I just couldn’t leave her on the shelf. And I couldn’t, in good conscience, take her home without her friends, could I?
*6 months later, have I used any of these? No.
Barbecue Gluten Snacks*
The reason these are here is simple: I tasted one and truly hated it. I was already disappointed to find a single, dense slab rather than the advertised spiral, but the flavour- aggressively black peppery, heavy on the cumin- I just couldn’t handle it. Ever since, I’ve had vague plans of chopping them to some kind of stir fry situation and just haven’t. This delay might be some kind of trauma response.
*Shortly after writing this, I pawned these off on a coworker because I couldn't bear the sight of them anymore.
One Single Slice of Dehydrated Kiwi
This is probably 3 months old and I ate it right after taking the photo.
A1 Crispy Cereal mix for Prawns*
Had I not done my research, I’d have coated the prawns in this the same way one might with breadcrumbs. Turns out you’re meant to batter and fry the prawns, then toss them in the cereal mix afterwards. Always read the instructions.
*This eventually got used for its intended purpose.
Thai Minced Crab in Spices*
The very kind man who sold me this explained exactly how best to cook it, but unfortunately, that information has long since left me. Nothing a little Googling can’t help.
*Still unused, and sitting among the rest of my tinned fish collection.
Pimp Your Mayo: Mango & Habanero Seasoning*
A special one. I spotted this at a food festival and immediately thought it sounded ridiculous. After 3 glasses of wine, it still sounded ridiculous, but not ridiculous enough to stop me buying a jar.
Pimp Your Mayo, I will find a use for you if it’s the last thing I ever do.
*I still think this is stupid and have only attempted to use it once. There is a strong argument for binning it and freeing myself of the guilt.
I’m not sure whether this is a meditation on overconsumption, curiosity, inspiration, or simply a lack of self-control. Whatever it is, these ingredients deserve better than being left to age in the depths of a cupboard.
6 months later, the above still stands.